داستان های کوتاه کمدی (انگلیسی)

داستانهای کوتاه کمدی شماره 1

Walnuts and Watermelons .As Nasrudin rested under a tall walnut tree one day, he looked a few yards to his side and noticed a big watermelon growing on a thin vine near the ground

Nasrudin looked up and said, “Great God, please permit me to ask you this: why is it that walnuts grow on big strong trees, while watermelons grow on think weak vines. Shouldn’t it be the other way around
.But at that very moment, a walnut fell from high on up in the tree and hit Nasrudin square on the head
“Ah!“ remarked Nasrudin. “I suppose Nature’s ways might not be as backward as I thought. After all, if a big watermelon fell out of the tree and onto my head, it might have killed me

***********************************************************

One Apple Per Answer

.A man at the village center began asking the locals a variety of questions—but they, being unable to answer most of them, referred the man to Nasrudin

“Can you help me out and answer a few questions?” the man asked Nasrudin

.Nasrudin eyed a sack of apples the man was carrying and replied, “I’ll answer each question for one apple”

The man agreed, asked the questions one by one, and paid an apple each time—each of which Nasrudin immediately ate while he answered the question. Finally, the man ran out of apples

“.OK,” the man said. “I’m going to go now. But before I do, I just want to know one thing”

“What?” Nasrudin asked

“?How did you eat so many apples”

 

“.Since you have no more apples,” Nasrudin responded, “I can’t answer you”

***********************************************************

Man Demands Justice

One day, a man ran into Judge Nasrudin’s room and said, “I was just robbed at the border of this village! It must have been someone from here, and I demand justice! The robber took everything from me—my shoes, my pants, my shirt, my coat, my necklace, and even my socks…he took everything, I tell you! I demand justice”

“?Well now,” Nasrudin replied, “I see that you are still wearing you underwear—so the robber didn’t take that, did he”

“.No,” replied the man

.Nasrudin responded, “Then I am sure he was not from here, and thus I cannot investigate your case”

“.How can you be so sure?” the man asked

“!Because if he were from here, he would have taken your underwear as well. After all, we do things thoroughly around here“

*********************************************************** 

?Are You Asleep

 

.Nasrudin was lying on his couch with his eyes closed

?His brother-in-law went up to him and asked, “Are you asleep”

“.Why do you ask?” Nasrudin replied

“.I was wondering if you could lend me three hundred dollars,” said the other

 

“!Well,” answered Nasrudin, “let’s return to your fist question—‘Am I asleep.’ The answer is yes I am—so leave me alone“

***********************************************************

 

The Baby is Crying

.Late one night, Nasrudin’s baby started crying

.Nasrudin’s wife turned to him and said, “Husband, go take care of the baby. After all, he is not only mine—he is also half yours”

 

.Nasrudin sleepily remarked, “You can go stop your half from crying if you want—but as for me, I will let my half continue to cry”

***********************************************************

 

 داستان کوتاه کمدی شماره 2

 

Nasrudin’s ID

As Nasrudin entered a foreign town, a border guard stopped him and said, “You must have some way of identifying yourself before we can let you in”

 

.Nasrudin took out a pocket mirror, looked into it, and remarked, “Yes-that is Nasrudin”

***********************************************************

 

A Liter of Milk

.Nasrudin brought a small container to the milkman and said, “Give me one liter of cow’s milk”

.The milkman looked at Nasrudin’s container and said, “A liter of cow’s milk won’t fit into your container
“.OK—give me one liter of goat’s milk”

***********************************************************  

Debate

Nasrudin and some friends were at the town square. The friends, looking for any subject to discuss, began debating over the sex of the dove that brought the olive twig to Noah’s Ark

After listening to the debate, Nasrudin spoke up and said, “This is actually a very easy question to answer. The dove was male-I am sure about it

********************************************************

جدید

A good time to eat  

?Man: “Nasrudin, when is a good time to eat”

.Nasrudin: “Well, for the rich, anytime, and for the poor, anytime they find food”

ثروتمند  rich  

فقیر     poor    

***********************************************************

My Foot Hurts

.An illiterate man asked Nasrudin to write a letter for him

.Nasrudin, however, refused, saying, “Unfortunately, I can’t do it right now—my foot hurts too much”

“?Your foot?” the man said. “What does that have to do with writing a letter”

“Well,” explained Nasrudin, “since nobody besides me can read my handwriting, I have to go wherever the letter goes so that I can read it to the recipient”

***********************************************************

Lost Donkey

?Nasrudin was looking for his lost donkey, and at the same time, he was graciously thanking God. A man saw him doing this, and inquired, “Why are you so grateful and happy—after all, you just lost your donkey”

.Nasrudin replied, “I’m glad that I was not riding the donkey when he got lost. Otherwise, I’d be lost, too!“